If you command me to do something that I was already planning on doing the chances of me doing that thing automatically drop to zero

Tickets are bought. Game is Wednesday. Super excited about it.

churchofsterek:

gallifreyslocked:

when i was in year 5, i did a speech on clumsiness for my school’s public speaking contest and to be clever, i tripped on my way to the stage dropping my note cards all over the place, but then i pulled the real ones out of my pocket saying ‘if you’re going to be clumsy, it pays to be prepared!’

everyone lost their shit and i got second place

If you got second place who got first… Did they talk about fire safety and burn the stage down or something

stunningpicture:

Today I saw the single most shocking thing I have seen in my entire life

stunningpicture:

Today I saw the single most shocking thing I have seen in my entire life

I’ve discovered there’s a lot you can do inside haunted houses.

fictionalfeather:

For example, you can:

  • be in a shampoo commercial

image

  • start a boy band:

image

  • spot some choice booty:

image

  • break into song:

image

  • see some people in frankly offensive outfits:

image

  • attend a metal show:

image

  • listen to some sick jams:

image

  • discover zombieism:

image

  • sample some tasty snacks:

image

  • watch someone get burned bad:

image

  • find something you really like:

image

  • find something you really, really like:

image

  • find something you REALLY REALLY LIKE:

image

  • and wonder if you left the stove on:

image

the-doctor-to-my-tardis:

neckbeardeddragon:

cheezetits:

narcotic:

There’s a book sitting in front of you.

In it contains all the bad things people have said about you behind your back, would you open it? 

Hell fucking yeah

Read it so you can find out what people really have to say about you and how you can change your character to be a better person.

read it so you know what order to murder people in

nova-r:

i need a new bra, looks like it’s time to take out a fucking loan

amewesing:

This is so important

dannythequeerghost:

i-am-the-pizza-man:

thestoryso-near:

pepperwood-just-kiss-me:

gerard-you-little-shit:

What the fuck Gru how do you notice this like they are all basically indentical

That’s because he truly loves them and knows them

i love when that other one slaps his head like “nigga tryin steal my love gtfo”

THE ONE IN THE 3RD GIF THAT STARTS CRYING HES SO DISTRAUGHT

Gru: Worst Super Villain Ever

I need someone who’s okay with laying in bed all day but also up for spontaneous adventures.